Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
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I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
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I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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