I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
