exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
