Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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