he thought i was a dude.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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