so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
