i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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