I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
