Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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