maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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