Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Randomize
