HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
