Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
