so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
