If that was your dad, he is hot
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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