those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
bring money and cleavage
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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