The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i think my tv is drunk
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
they're like a gay fantastic four
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
