halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
