I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
