i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
