Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
