is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
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Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
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Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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