is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
