can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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