YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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