Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
