Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Randomize
