Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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