My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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