it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
