They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
