this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
