My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
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I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
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I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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