remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
