is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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