Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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