She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
