I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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