the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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