nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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