Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
What drink are we having for lunch?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize