u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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