Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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