you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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