She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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