I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
