My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
