Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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