With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
