Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
