i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
