omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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