i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Randomize
