Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
