ugly people sure do ruin things
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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