I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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