U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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