Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
