Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
