Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
