I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
