she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
