i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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