You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
that's an acceptable place to lick
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
