I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Your penis caused this!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize