how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
