Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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